Why Politicians Are Over the Top

Realization.

There are a lot of aspects of politicians which suck. They pander to idiotic bases left and right. They listen to lobbyists and do what's best for getting themselves reelected. They trend toward slimeballiness, scumbaggery, and levels of douchery that are simply incomparable to the general human population. They also make a lot more money than I do.

However, none of these really answer the question of why politicians make such over the top statements all the time. A lot of other things about them, but not their overly exaggerated verbosity.

What compels them to push themselves so far in making mountains out of molehills is a deep-seated desire to be Winston Churchill.

You might think I'm crazy at this point, but hold your paddy-wagon for a second and hear this out. It's not that they want to be a plump, baritone Englishman, but that they want to be remembered for making great speeches. Not just great speeches, but speeches which embodied a critical moment in history where life, as it was known, changed forever. They want a legacy like JFK or MLK Jr. who, if anything, are remembered for having a single, amazing speech in the history of their lives.

The problem is they haven't the faintest notion of what such a moment in history looks like. In fact, it's doubtful that any of the aforementioned loquators knew that such a moment had come either. No can really tell they happened until after the fact, and sometimes they come and go without a sound because the right person wasn't there at the right time.

All these talentless hacks know is that they can't possibly tell when such a moment comes; they don't even know they're talentless hacks, or that it's pointless to even try if you don't honestly care about the cause. Because of their obliviousness, they do the one thing that makes logical sense to someone in their position, make huge overblown speeches, overly triumphant witticisms and pseudo-decisive retorts all day, week, and year long. Each word is punctuated by their fervent hope that this time, it will be more than a news blurb or a meme but a moment.

Meanwhile, Obama runs for election and scoops everything. The Republicans are mad because they've been trying so hard and haven't succeeded in decades, and the Democrats are happy because maybe they'll have a shot at being the Al Sharpton or Medgar Evers to Obama's King Jr.

Yeah, politicians suck like that.